love is there to be found

Just don't over think i'm yours doll

as he falls to his knees 

he shall not move from her sight  

he site quite waiting for a command 

as he becomes her submissive 

she see's him on his knees agist the hard wood floor 

the site throws her into shock and starts to cry 

stand up, please don't do this , stand!

as he docent move she falls to her knees 

now she says we are equal and not one of us is greater than each other 

as she feels the hard wood floor she cries with pain but its hurt her more to see her love become her submissive

 as he sees her there they both look deep into each other and with one breath 

say the easy words we all say but for them it means more than most have ever thought it could be .. 

as the faint words come to be the room darkens with the night sky .. 

in the dark they equal in the light they the are the same .. 

now they stand together side by side .. and will say this 

don't over think I'm yours tell then end of time and times its self .

in life u meet ppl who are in need of help i was and am one of these ppl ... but i also help those who i can .. but its hard to show them they have so much more to life for and how strong they are .. when they are always degrading themselfs and dont liaten or take what one is saying to heart ..ni dont always know how to say it but god damm it i hate whwn u treat ur self with no respect and yet u come crying to me its time for u to grow up and listen to me and take to heart wat im tell u i say ot bluntly because i care and hate what u do to urnsepf

the lying smile

this boy walks every day with a fake smile on his face so know one can really see how he feels .. but yet he only tells a few how he is and even then he cant see that light that he looks for .. he trys to do so much for the ppl he loves but yet he still wears that fake smile .. but know one knows .. one day the boy trys to let a girl in his life and at the end of it he gets hurt boy tells friends im done im cant do this anymore .. they all ask what are you talking about .. the next day they noticed that there friend did not come to school nor answers there calls or text .. time goes by and then a teacher comes to them to tell them something most would never thought about  there friend doing .. and  the teacher says " im sorry to be the one to tell you this .. but your friend jack killed hims self last night "  the three friends had  all start to cry and are shocked from what they are told .. one ask " do you know how he did it ? " teacher said " he od and bleed to death" .. im sorry for your lost he was a great friend and a great guy .. the three friends were sent home to be with the family and  with jacks family ... once they got to the house they all were giving the note to read . " dear friends and family .. im sorry you it came to this and i hurt you so much by this choice i choose but im tired of wearing a fake smile every day and trying to make everyone happy .. now its my turn to be happy .. so this is my good by and thank you all for your love but it was time for me to find peace in my self  love jack" they all did not know how jack felt because jack would hide is feelings from them but yet he was there for them always .. about a few months later .. come to see that jacks friends have been very uneasy about his death and one of them take there own life .. come to know in her note it said only if jack knew i loved him and i want to be with him i could have saved him .. once again another was lost do to a love they never had or could get to see ..

beauty

I look upon this young woman .

when i look upon her, I catch myself lost in her eyes.

they are as beautiful as the midnight starry sky,

 i see so much compassion in her eyes.

As i pull myself away i see her smile,

Its as breath taking as a sunset on a beach, 

It shows how graceful she is and the joy within her.

 As i try and pull my self away, 

I see her hair and how if flows down her body; 

 It falls so graceful and peaceful 

like a beautiful rose petal falling off a rose. 

As I look i see her lips;

 Im tempted to kiss her, 

but i hold myself back.. 

Her lips look as soft as the wings of an angel.

 As i look upon you 

I  see your

 beauty in every way. 

lost thoughts

i been alive now for 20 years .. its funny .. I'm told I'm young .. but yet i feel old in side .. and i have lots more to look forward to in life .. but what i been thro is fucking crazy but I'm glad i had you all that are still with me here in my life .. cause if it was not for you ppl i would have been someone really different .. and who knows if i would be where i am today or not .. but I'm glad i am where i am and i have you all in my life .. i just wanted to thank you all for helping me become who i am today .. and i look to the great doors that l have not yet open .. .. i often wonder what is be hide then .. and i get closer every day .. but one day they will be open and i hope you all are there for when it happens… thank you all for everything .. 

20 years time has come and gone in my short life so far and i have seen so much for the years to where i feel old .. but yet I'm told I'm young holy shit i wonder how much i will know when i am old haha .. it will be a great journey the rest of my life .. 

when you come back you say things that make me laugh but at the same time i wonder if i even should.. you did what you did and i forgive you for it .. btu should i let you make me smile or laugh .. what you did was something you should have not done alone but you did and you hurt so many other doing so .. but hey I'm still here all the time .. for now at least

all the thoughts i have and so lil time to have it all down before i fall in the dark .. but yet i still feel empty in side lick something is missing but i don't know what it is .. maybe its ambition .. maybe its the special person in my life or maybe its cause i have not thoughts of anything anymore .. but one day i hope that it will all change .. and i won't have to hide from this back smile 

i let the blood drain from my body .. i watch it drip off my finger tips .. i don't wish for it to stop I'm hopping for it to keep going so that i will be free .. but then i see that it starts to go back in to my arm .. i start t feel life for a moment .. but yet then i feel like i shall .. blank lifeless and lost in the dark .. i watch the blood flow into me .. and so i do another to watch in drain from me and drip from my hand .. then i reach out to you and what do you find a bloody hand asking for forgiveness .. but i know you won't do so .. cause i lost you .. for now I'm lost and watching the blood drip from my lifeless body

vines

vines

my vines pop and show on my arms

sometimes i think way if i just cut them .. and end all this pain i have in me .. 

what if i just shot up the drugs of lies i know

and just let my self fall to the ground

then then i see them fad away and i know i lost my chance and then i cry .. and 

wish i did it 

and ended it 

but yet I'm still here 

and I'm to feel this pain .. vines 

could give you everything you want 

if you can hand what comes with it 

sleepless night

damm this night .. i sit here body is awake and my heart is seareming at me .. what it tells me is one thing i wish i knew how to say to you .. but its hard to say it .. but now i see it .. if i can't say it how will you know.. now i wish i would have said it to you .. as i see that you are walking away .. just always know i love you .. and this is for us and nothing more .. but now you see one thing i have for you is that i will always be there for you no matter what happen in life .. all i wish is for you to be happy .. i love you .. and i wish what i could say to you is only the begging of how i feel you to .. baby .. I'm in love with you .. 

my sorrow

i sit in this room thinking of things i have done , i feel scared of the pain i caused you , i say I'm sorry , but i know you don't care, why do you hate me , i tried my best , now you say fuck off, my arms are bleeding from the word that are life a blade to my skin , i feel the blood run down and in a pool of blood i see you . and say i did what you wished I'm am gone , just know i love you , and always will . goodbye. sorry for everything i hope i made you happen this time ,

scars i have

Scars i have 

I bare more than the scars you see!

For my scars run deep inside me.

The pain that cause them is strong. 

But I have become stronger. 

The one who can over come their pain,

 Is the one called strong? 

But truly the one who 

Can live with this pain is strong. And 

who knows how to bare these scars

 That run deep inside.

But yet you see what I let you see 

For my scars run deep. 

 Can you see me for me? 

My scars for scars? 

This is only a question for 

Those who sees the little things in life. 

For scars are everywhere.

But yet you are blind to my scars. 

 These are the scars I have to bare.

Can you see my scars ?

how could i have ??

what i have done .. is what i shoudl have never done .. if you knew or know what this is about then you .. understand how my mind can take things out of contexts and its quite bad .. i try and and never think about anything that i have done .. or at least not regreat it .. but shit fuck me till the world ends .. for this i wish never had happen kinda .. now that i started this again . i know where it will lead in time so i need to say it in a way no one will get unless you know me and my crazy mind .. 

so yes i did sedn that to you .. yes i meant it .. no id dint wish to make you feel that but yet i have .. and now i see what i did .. i fucked it up .. i should have knew better .. and know we talk like it was nothing .. but yet we have complet convos over .. and we seem to talk more now than we did .. what happen . .and when you say a few things it makes me wonder if i still like you .. or if im ove thinking .. it can be both .. it bugs me to know the things i know and feel .. but theres nothing more i can do .. but wonder if you feel some of what i feel .. but yet i know not to ask .. cause of what i know that you are doing .. so i say this .. fuxk what i did .. and i can promise you i will not try again .. or if i may never care like i did